Still Got That Charm?
by Margarita11
Summary: Is there really an age where you loose your charm? Maybe, but of course, not for Jack...or so he thinks...hehehe
1. Interesting Thoughts of Cap'n Jack S

Hey this is a story that I kind of just thought up of randomly. It sounds very cheesy, but read anyway. It kind of took me a while to figure how to write the stories and upload them and stuff, cuz I'm a little slow in the head. But I did it eventually!!!*thanks to A LOT of help by a dear friend* so it's finally here! Yeh! Enjoy.oh by the way, I was watching' a Trix commercial, and that poor rabbit!!!!! Stupid kids, just give the rabbit the Trix's already!!! Tell me you feel pity for the poor, helpless creature!!! Seriously, if I could, I would jump in the T.V. and strangle those darn kids!!! But I can't, so I have to sit there, sympathizing for the poor creature who has yet to receive his yummy fruity Trix.sorry, random comment.but it's just human to say, that teasing creatures who are "under" your level, is sooo overrated!!! Anyway, on with the story! R & R!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own you Captain Jack Sparrow. I wish I did though. But I don't. *sigh*  
  
"Eh, ladies! It's been great talkin' to ya! Been lots of fun! I'll talk to ya' next time I'm in Tortuga!" Jack walked out of the musty Tortuga bar, waving bye to three women.  
  
They all smiled and waved back, "Bye jack darling! It's been great doing business!"  
  
Jack paced down the busy streets of Tortuga. "I sure am a charmer, I'll say that. I mean the women love me! (but then again, what's not to love about Cap'n Jack sparrow?!?!)" As he passed other women, he started sending his 'messages.' "I mean *wink* what is it about me? I wonder what the *licks lips* future holds for me? Isn't it true that once you *sizzles himself* hit a certain age, you loose your charm? Naw! Not me! *chuckles to self* Wait a minute, what time is it??" he ran up to a man sitting on the curb and grabbed him by the shirt, "Sir, what time is it?"  
  
"Whoa, hold your horses!!! What seems to be the problem Mr.?"  
  
"I need the time!!!" Jack yelled in fury.  
  
"No need to yell now. Let's take this nice and slow." Jack raged in fury.  
  
"Ok, SIR, what time is it???  
  
The man *tut tutted* and checked his watch, "*clears throat* 11:15, now don't you feel better now that you've taken things more pleasantly and slowly?"  
  
"11:15?!?!? Bloody 'ell, I have to go!!!" Jack ran as fast as his sexy muscular legs could carry him to the port, where the Black Pearl and crew awaited him. "Sorry I'm late, won't happen again!"  
  
Anamaria glared at him and began to slowly walk towards him. "You're darn right it won't happen again! You were supposed to be here a half hour ago!!! What were you doing??"  
  
"I was.um.taking care of business! You know, paperwork." Jack said uneasily.  
  
"Oh, paperwork," said Annamaria as she gave him a look of disbelief.  
  
Jack nodded his head, "Uh huh."  
  
"Yes, and that explains why your hair is a mess and your shirt is undone?"  
  
"It's not unbuttoned! LOOK!" Jack pointed to his shirt.  
  
"Oh, excuse me Jack, not unbuttoned, but incase you haven't noticed, your top button, is looped into your bottom hole."  
  
Jack quickly tried to fix his shirt, "Oh come on luv, I would have been here sooner but I ALSO got caught up with some moron who kept insisting I 'tell him nicely to give me the time',"  
  
"Ok Jack, just come on, we're headed for Port Royale tomorrow and really must be going."  
  
Jack walked up to Annamaria and placed his hand on her shoulder, "Annamaria, darling, please forgive me, you know that me charming onesie self meant no harm, I just got a little carried away earlier."  
  
She plucked Jack's hand off her shoulder and walked up the ladder, "Just don't let it happen again."  
  
Jack smirked, "I hope she'll have forgotten about that in a month or so.*grins VERY sexily*"  
  
Jack walked up the ladder and headed for the wheel, calling to the crew, "Aye, who wants to take control of the wheel tonight? I'm hittin' the sack in an hour." Jack looked around at the crew. No one seemed to want the job. "Cotton, you'll be driven the pearl into Port Royale tomorrow."  
  
Poor Mr. Cotton couldn't argue with Cap'n Jack Sparrow so all he could do was wave his hands in the air. Everyone was tired, no one wanted the night shift. O well, it has to go to someone, and Jack was tired and was in no mood to argue. So of course, give the job to the guy, who can't argue back. (Awe, come on?? You know you'd do it too!)  
  
Mr. Cotton stormed up to the poop deck, or crow's nest, or whatever you call it to fulfill his rightful duties. When he reached the top he looked down on Jack with a very nasty look.  
  
"Eh, come on Cotton, don't give me that. I promise you won't get the job back for another month*wink*."  
  
Jack walked down the stairs and entered his cabin for some sleep. He picked up his bottle of rum and took a few chugs before falling onto his bed to try and get to sleep. *yawn* yawned Jack (hehe, yawn yawned!) "Maybe there really is an age where you lose your charm." thought Jack, thinking of what he had said to himself earlier. "But eh, I got a long time 'till that happens!! Not that it ever will of course!" Jack smiled and finally shut his eyes, falling asleep for a good night's rest after that long, HARD, TIRING day of paperwork and pedestrian controversy.  
  
Yeh!! It's my first chappy!!! Kind of short, and boring, but that's cuz the plot hasn't really started to take form yet.*wink* Tell me if it was awful or good, or anything else you want to call it. Depp Day is February 7th!!!!! Yah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Party for all the Johnny fanatics!!! 


	2. A Horrific Site

I've finally updated! Yah! I was on a trip for a week so that got me behind and all. So it's here! Yippee! So sorry it took me so long!! Thanks to all you guys who reviewed!! *smooches* Yes, the plot begins to take form...*wink* Oh, I highly recommend renting Chocolat, Crybaby, and Edward Scissorhands. There wonderfully wonderful Johnny flicks!!!! And he is sooooooo hot in Crybaby and Chocolat! *drool* so yummylicious! And Edward is a sweetie!  
  
AHHH, I am so eagerly awaiting the opening of Secret Window!! I want to see it so bad!!! But sadly it's not out yet so I have to wait, possibly bursting into a bubble if I have to wait much longer. I was doing lots of research and he has many movies coming out soon!!! *gets up and does some sort of unidentified strange dance, most likely celebrating all of Johnny's new movies* YAH!!!!!  
  
Jess: I agree that Commodores are people too, but ones who I should not have to "madly fall in love with"!!! Bleh...lol. Haha, you should fall madly in love with Gillette. Lol, I'm sorry, that was low. Hehe.  
  
Legolaslover2: Lol, haha, no, I'm sorry to say your prediction was wrong. Lol. And yeh, I know Jess. She be a friend of mine! Hehe. Thanks for the review!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Jack woke up the next morning and layed there for a few minutes, letting the warm, bright sun stream into his eyes. *yawn* He rubbed his eyes and was just about to get out of bed when Anamaria walked in with a plate of breakfast food.  
  
"Why hello Ja-AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" she screamed and ran out of the room, sending the sausages, butter and bread, oatmeal, and OJ flying into the air. "AH AH AH!!!!!!!" she screamed again.  
  
Jack stared with a bewildered look on his face. "What was that all about?" All of a sudden the crew came piling up to the door to see what the problem was, when...  
  
"AAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"SQUAK!!!!"  
  
"EEEKKKK!!!!!"  
  
The crew began running around the ship screaming their heads off. Jack started to yell at them, wanting an explanation to this sudden fright of him. "COME *hack* BACK *cough* HERE!!!!"  
  
The crew slowly started making there way over to his cabin, shielding their eyes from the horrific site that lay before them. "Now, what is it that is so scary about me, that ye find the need to scream at the site of me?!?!"  
  
Mr. Gibbs was the first to speak, "Um, Cap'n, ye may want to look at yourself in the mirror."  
  
Jack got up and made his way to the mirror. "Come on now, it can't be that bad." The crew let out grunts of disagreement, still covering their eyes. "Now, what is it th-BLOODY HELL!!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!?!? I'm-I'm...OLD, and WRINKLY, and...eww!!!"  
  
The crew opened their eyes to get another look at the horrific site. Once again, a series of screams, squeals, and squawks erupted from the crew. They began running around the ship like a bunch of insane idiots, with Jack almost on their tails. Jack pleaded, "Please, I know it's awful, but, but....I'll wear a paper bag!" Just then the crew began jumping overboard.  
  
"Sorry Jack! But you're a fate worse than death!!" screamed Gibbs as he jumped overboard, trying to escape Jack.  
  
"Wait! You can't swim Gibbs!!" Jack yelled after Gibbs, but it was too late. *Mourns over the loss of Mr. Gibbs for a few minutes* Jack started chasing after the crew again. Although, he didn't get very far. "*crack* OWWWW!!!! MY BACK!!!!" soon after that, the whole crew was almost completely overboard, some claiming, "Anything is better than looking at you!" harsh, very.  
  
"AWW!! Come on!" pleaded Jack, "I can't sail into Port Royale all by me onesie self!" Jack ran down the stairs to the cargo hold and began searching around for one. "AH HA! Victory! I found one," He pulled out a paper bag and slipped it over his head, poking two eyes in it and a mouth. Jack grabbed the wheel and made his best attempt to sail into Port Royale.  
  
A few hours later, he made it!!!!!! *cheers for Jack* Even though he was only two miles from the coast, but you know...yeh.  
  
When he stepped onto Port Royale, he began receiving numerous stares and glances. Heck, you'd stare to if someone had a paper bag over their head. "What are you starin' at *cough*" he tried to make a fake jump at the person, as though attacking them, but... "AHH!!! BLOODY BACK!!!"  
  
Moments later...  
  
Governor Swan sent out an urgent notice message to all the citizens of Port Royale.  
  
"Good day citizens of Port Royale. Earlier this morning a large boat arrived in Port Royale, but where was the crew? A strange man with a crooked back and a paper bag over his head was the only person to walk off the boat..."  
  
All of a sudden, Jack stormed in. "SHIP!!!! It's a ship! *hack* Not a boat! *lifts off paper bag*  
  
"high pitched squeal* EEEKK!!!!!" Governor Swan ran as fast as his ugly little legs could carry him out of the room.  
  
Jack let out a very evil laugh, "MWAHAHAHA!!!! That's what you deserve! Now, where'd me back go..." he looked around the room, "AH! Stupid parrot!!! Stop chewing on my bag!!" In the corner of the room was Mr. Cotton's parrot (who obviously left the Pearl too) chewing to pieces Jack's paper bag with his pointy little beak. "Nooo!!! Now what do I do?? People run at the sight of me!! That was all I had!!" he threw his face into his hands, but quickly recovers, "I guess it's all up to me charm now *winks*," he looked at himself, "Oh forget it, I'm going to find me a bag!" Jack walked out and began looking for markets.  
  
He walked into 'K-Market' and began walking up each isle for the paper bags. "Hmm...'Ziploc Clear Plastic Baggies', 'Glad'...ah here! 'Paper Bags...Extra Large Bags, For those Extra Large Lunches!' Yeesh. They really need a better catch phrase," Jack picked them up and carried them up to the register to purchase them. (Yes, I think the cashier was blind.)  
  
After he bought them, Jack made his way to the bathroom for some fitting for his new baggies. Jack pulled out a baggie and placed it on hi hand. He began to sing an interesting song to himself. "You poke a hole right there... poke pokey poke-doo! *pokes an eye hole* "Then you poke a hole right there!! Poke pokey poke-doo!! *pokes another eye hole* "Then you make a smile, and poke it right through!! Pokedy pokedy poke poke, poke it right through!! *pokes in a mouth* Ah, now time to find me some ladies!" but all of a sudden... "SUPID PARROT!!! You stole me bag again!!!! *begins fuming from the ears* AHH!!!" the parrot flew off with it, once again. He attempted to jump up and down in fury but, do I even need to say it!?!? "AH! MY BACK!!!!!!!!! OW! That's it, I'm going to Tortuga! No man ever feels unwanted in Tortuga!"  
  
So Jack hopped (or not hop, but more of a 'step-by-step, take it slowly' up the ladder kind of thing) onto the Black Pearl to sail to the town of Tortuga. Let's all wish Jack some luck, LOTS of it.  
  
Well, here it is! The second chapter!! About time too. Did any of you see that interview with Johnny Depp last night?? He is very very funny!! Ewwww, but in the beginning he was like "Please forgive for this horrible poison I'm about to for take in," and pops a cigarette in his mouth!! Argh...no Johnny, I don't forgive you. Hehe. He must stop smoking. But otherwise he was very funny, interesting, and kept doing this very sexy thing with his beautiful hair. LoL.  
  
Math homework needs to die...and English tests...and science projects...and social studies projects. The icky things are pointless. OHHH YES!!! Listening to Crybaby music!!! I seriously never knew that man could sing!!! Because he CAN!!!! WOOO!!!!!!!! And he has the sexiest growl!!!! It's so...so...so... GROWLY!!!!! Lol. Haha words cant explain its growliness and Johnnyness!!!! Put it together, and VWALA!!! A masterpiece!! 


End file.
